


I Can't Believe I Did That

by bigbodaciousbuddie (onlyforlouiswt)



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Eddie Diaz is a dumbass wbk, Established Relationship, Finger guns, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, Two halves of a whole idiot, eddie pulls a buck in this fic lmao, idk this was just a fun little thing, no beta we die like men, ok i think that's about it for tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 03:00:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30082461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyforlouiswt/pseuds/bigbodaciousbuddie
Summary: “Ummm… Did Buck just tell me he loved me for the first time?” Eddie looked up at Bobby who was standing to his right as he was being carefully checked over by Chim.“Yeah, he did.” Bobby was looking at him with concern and mirth equally evident in his eyes. Chim barely suppressing a chuckle.“A– and did I do the finger guns back?” Eddie was almost too afraid to ask because he already knew the answer to that question.“Yeah, yeah you did.” Eddie groans. Bobby fondly shakes his head. Chim rolls his eyes.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 440
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales, Finished 911 Stories I Love





	I Can't Believe I Did That

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this one Incorrect 118 [post](https://incorrect118.tumblr.com/post/643658387769491456/eddie-did-buck-just-tell-me-he-loved-me-for-the) on tumblr and it somehow turned into this.
> 
> This was so fun to write. I kinda was laughing the entire time.
> 
> Disclaimer: I know close to nothing about how fires and firefighters work. Everything I know, I got from the show. So... some of these might not be accurate. lol
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Eddie was sat against the corner of one of the couches up at the loft at the station. Buck was to his left, currently engaged in a very heated game of Mario Kart with Chim and Hen. Bobby was in the kitchen presumably cooking up a storm, enough to feed an entire station and Buck, who claims he’s still a growing boy who he needs his sustenance. 

Eddie can’t help but smile to himself. It’s times like this that he realizes how lucky he was to have found his way to LA. To have found his way to the 118. To Buck.

Him and Buck have only been dating for the better part of two months, but they both know they’ve been gone for each other for far longer than that. They might not have realized it earlier, but they got there eventually. Not without a lot of teasing and prodding from their nosy loved ones, mind you; ultimately, it had been Chris who finally got them to get their shit together. The kid had phrased it a lot nicer though. 

Eddie tries to go back to the book he was barely reading, which takes him a while because Buck’s full-bellied laughter proves to be a little bit distracting. Bobby had now moved from the kitchen to where they were all gathered, chuckling at the trio who were all arguing about Chim cheating with… a banana peel?

Eddie thinks he could get used to this, to the quiet days in the station just basking in the warmth and happiness radiating off of the family he’s found in the 118.

His thoughts were perhaps a touch too loud because barely even a second after he thought the word ‘quiet,’ the alarm starts blaring. Startling all of them from the lazy haze that has only begun to coat the afternoon.

Eddie will never admit this to any of his friends, and especially not to Buck, but he might be starting to believe in the jinx. Granted no one said it aloud this time but, really? The second he thinks the word, something happens? But that’s not how it works, right? Right?

They get changed into their turn-out gear as quickly as they can, shaking out the false sense of security given to them by a few slow hours at the station. Bobby’s calling out to them the details of a fire currently ravaging a pretty old residential building. Other crews were already on the scene but they needed all the help they can get. Their Captain informs them that most of the residents had already been evacuated but there may be a few more still stuck in there, and that’s where they come in.

Once they arrive on the scene, they immediately spring into action. Hen and Chim were sent to where the evacuated residents were triaged. Buck and Eddie were, of course, sent into the building to help in the search and rescue. They gear up, working as quickly as they can. But before they go run into the flames, they give each other a look. A look that was more of a silent agreement really, to not be reckless, to never leave each other’s side, and to come out of this unscathed and alive.

Buck is the one to break the eye contact first but not before giving Eddie’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Eddie could only give Buck a nod before they’re both taking off towards the building, running up to the fourth floor where they were assigned to do a sweep. They do it quickly and efficiently, knowing how unstable the building is becoming as the minutes pass. After a second and final sweep, Eddie sounds off at his radio informing Bobby that the fourth floor was clear.

“Copy that, Diaz.” Bobby says over the static of the radio. “The other floors have already been cleared. Get out of there. Building’s starting to give, don’t want you two getting stuck in there.”

“Okay, Cap. Buck and I are heading out.” Eddie says as he looks back towards Buck to make sure he’s still behind him.

“Buck, let’s go. No funny business. Stick with me.” He tells the other man very sternly. His boyfriend had the propensity to recklessly throw himself into risky situations in order to save a life. While that’s an admirable trait he absolutely adores about Buck, he’s not about to lose one of the most important people in his life.

They both have reached the ground floor and were about to run out of the building, Buck already ahead of him a few steps, when Eddie hears the unmistakable sound of an agonized scream. He turns around to see which direction it’s coming from. Another one has him spinning towards the east end of the building. How anyone could’ve missed the screams he was hearing, he doesn’t know. He’s about to call into the radio when the building gives a particularly threatening grumble. 

Eddie realizes he doesn’t have much time. And he realizes he’s about to eat his own fucking words but he can’t just leave someone when he knows he can get to them in time. So, with one last look out of the front doors, making sure Buck’s safely out of there, he runs further into the building.

Once he gets to where the screams are coming from, he sees that a huge utility shelf has fallen over and was pinning a young woman underneath it. Her eyes were wide and terrified, sending Eddie silent pleas for help as she could do nothing but scream in panic.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m Eddie, LAFD, and I’m here to get you out. But I need to check you first, yeah? Stay still.” Eddie crouches down beside her quickly assessing her for any signs of life threatening injuries. He determines there’s nothing majorly wrong with her except for a gash up against her right eyebrow that’s allowing for a steady trickle of blood, and maybe a few broken ribs.

“I’m gonna get this off of you now, okay?” The young woman minutely nods as Eddie uses all the strength he can muster to lift up the utility shelf. It’s heavy but not too bad and he eventually moves it to the side enough to free up the young woman. He goes to help her up, already starting to lead her towards the front of the building when he hears another very angry grumble. This time, he knows it’s not good.

\---

Everything happens in a blur. When Eddie realized he wouldn’t be able to get both him and the young woman to the front doors in time, he started to panic a little. But then he saw that the room lead into an emergency exit. Once again mustering up all the strength he had left, he picks up the young woman, bridal style, and runs towards the exit doors.

They both barely make it out when the whole ground floor collapses, no longer able to hold the weight of the building. Eddie stands there for a moment staring at it, processing what had just happened, letting out a huge breath he didn’t know he was holding. He was unmoving, a little too stunned, until he was broken out of it by two pairs of hands taking the young woman he rescued from his arms, getting her into a gurney and into the back of an ambulance.

Another pair of hands were leading him (and not very gently, might he add) towards the front of the building. He later realizes it was Chim, Eddie having become much more aware of his surroundings and the people around him.

“What the hell, Diaz? You fucking idiot. Buck was about to lose it!” Chim chastises him but Eddie can see that there’s relief evident in the features of his face. He gives the other man a rueful smile, and a tiny shrug.

Then, all of a sudden, he’s met with a huge wall of flesh and he’s being crushed into an all-encompassing hug. He didn’t need to see who it was, he could tell who’s familiar touch it was even in his sleep. He sinks into it, letting waves of relief completely wash over him. He’s okay. Buck’s okay. They’re both okay.

“You give me shit for being a reckless, self-sacrificial moron on the daily, and then you turn around and pull that same bullshit?!” Buck says as he pushes against Eddie’s chest. There’s no anger in there, just a little fear. Eddie gets it.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Eddie grabs both of Buck’s hands, holding on to them tightly. For whose benefit, he doesn’t really know. “But you know how it is, right? Someone needed me.”

“Of course, I get it. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t scared out of my mind. I thought I was gonna lose you… I only got you, Eds.” Buck says sounding unbelievably earnest, looking down at the ground, avoiding Eddie’s gaze.

Eddie brings Buck’s hands towards his mouth, pressing soft kisses all over the other man’s knuckles, a silent apology and also, a reassurance.

“Eddie, I–“ Buck takes a deep breath before he finally looks up right into Eddie’s eyes. “I was so scared I’d lost you and I could only think of one thing. I could only think about how I’m such an idiot for not telling you.”

Eddie’s breath hitches.

“I love you, Eddie.” Buck finally breathes out. “I love you so much. And I just couldn’t stand you not knowing.”

Eddie’s mind was spinning. Too many emotions were swirling around in there, clashing against each other. Left over fear, relief, hope, excitement and love were all taking over, he was getting slightly dizzy. All of those overwhelming feelings, combined with the fact that he was coming down from the adrenaline and that he was a complete and utter idiot, result to him doing the stupidest thing he had ever done in his entire life. 

Instead of telling Buck he loves him too (because of course he does), he lets out a nervous, almost manic, chuckle and throws finger guns towards his boyfriend. Finger guns.

“Alright, that’s enough. Let’s get Eddie checked up.” Eddie’s barely registered what he’d done when both Bobby and Chim whisk him off to the back of the 118’s ambulance. Leaving a somewhat bewildered Buck behind.

“Ummm… Did Buck just tell me he loved me for the first time?” Eddie looked up at Bobby who was standing to his right as he was being carefully checked over by Chim.

“Yeah, he did.” Bobby was looking at him with concern and mirth equally evident in his eyes. Chim barely suppressing a chuckle.

“A– and did I do the finger guns back?” Eddie was almost too afraid to ask because he already knew the answer to that question.

“Yeah, yeah you did.” Eddie groans. Bobby fondly shakes his head. Chim rolls his eyes.

\---

He never gets the chance to talk to Buck after that. 

The ride back was tense, at least on Eddie’s part. Buck, on the other hand, had on an expression that Eddie couldn’t read. Hen and Chim were looking at the both of them absolutely amused, no doubt getting ready to tease Eddie into oblivion. Bobby was, as always, looking over at them from the front seat with a look only a concerned father figure could give.

Upon arriving at the station, Bobby had insisted on driving Eddie to the hospital to get checked up, just to be sure he’s alright. He doesn’t think it’s necessary and was about to voice his protest when his Captain throws him one exasperated look and with that, he immediately scrambles towards the older man’s car.

The whole time he was at the hospital, Eddie racks his brain. He tries to figure out what that look on Buck’s face meant, if Buck had felt hurt that he’d just pointed finger guns at him instead of saying he loved him too. If Buck thought that Eddie didn’t love him back. He tries to think of ways to apologize and make it up to his boyfriend. Tries to think of all the ways he could show Buck that he loved him too.

After several tests, Eddie gets a clean bill of health which quietens Bobby’s worries. His Captain drives both of them back to the station, seeing as Eddie still has a few more hours of his shift left and he insisted that he was okay enough to go back.

“You know he knows, right?” Bobby says, suddenly piercing the comfortable silence they found themselves in.

“I don’t know, Cap.” Eddie sighs. “I mean, finger guns? Really? That was the best I could do?”

“You were overwhelmed. And to be fair, you had barely just gotten out of a collapsing building. Your thoughts must have been all over the place.” Bobby smiles at him, and Eddie accepts the comfort.

When they arrive at the station, Buck is waiting for them by the foot of the stairs to the loft. Bobby claps Eddie on his shoulder and makes himself scarce.

“I’m all good. Clean bill of health.” He says to Buck, knowing that the other man was worried beyond measure. Eddie barely opens his mouth to apologize when he’s being crushed by another one of Buck’s signature hugs.

“Good. Good. I’m so glad you’re okay.” Buck says onto his neck, his voice a little muffled by Eddie’s shirt. He rubs a soothing hand up and down Buck’s back.

“Come over later.” Eddie says as he leans back to look at Buck. “I want to have a quiet night in with my boys.”

Buck chuckles at him. “After the day you’ve had? You deserve it.”

\---

Eddie hears the sound of the front door being unlocked and the unmistakable sound of his boyfriend walking further into the house. Eddie moves from the kitchen towards the living room to meet Buck halfway.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Buck replies, a little too reserved for Eddie’s liking. He’s still sporting that expression, a little more subtle now but Eddie can still see it.

Eddie decides to break out of the awkward atmosphere they’ve gotten themselves into and walks over to Buck. Eddie hesitates just a tiny bit before he pulls his boyfriend in by the neck and kisses him, his other hand finding its way around Buck’s waist. It’s a sweet kiss, a little more on the chaste side, but it gets them both to breathe a sigh of relief. They’re alright.

“Um, c’mon.” Eddie nods his head towards the kitchen, leading Buck there by the hand. “I made you dinner. I know I said I wanted a quiet night in with both my boys but I dropped Chris off at Abuela’s, so it’s a proper date night.”

Buck gasps at the scene in the kitchen. Eddie has taken care to set up the table, complete with an expensive bottle of wine, candles, flowers, the whole enchilada. He has soft jazz music playing in the background. 

It’s a simple meal, nothing too elaborate and complicated as Eddie’s not much of a cook, Buck taking the cake in that category. But he knows that something as simple as this will bring Buck so much joy, and hopefully will make him understand that he is loved. He is so loved.

They both get settled onto their seats. Buck smiles at Eddie so wide as the older man pours him a glass of wine that Eddie’s kind of breathless with it. But then an emotion flickers onto Buck’s face and Eddie recognizes it now, it’s uncertainty. Eddie realizes Buck really might be feeling like Eddie does not love him back. And Eddie can’t have that.

“Buck, look, what happened earlier.” Eddie starts off, ready to make a speech if he had to. He just needed his boyfriend to know that Eddie loved him.

“No, Eddie. I mean, if you’re not ready to say it back, it’s okay. I’ll wait. Or I don’t know, if you don’t feel the same way…” Buck trails off, looking a little broken.

Eddie’s up and out of his chair in a second. He kneels right in front of Buck, bringing a hand up against the other man’s cheek.

“No, baby. I was just being a dumbass back there.” He can’t help but laugh at himself a little. “I was so rattled with the close call, and was also very taken aback by you telling me you loved me for the first time that I kind of just stuck my foot where my mouth was.”

Buck looks up then, hope now blooming within those beautiful blue eyes Eddie always found himself lost in.

“I mean, I just can’t believe I did that. Seriously, finger guns. That was so stupid.” Buck’s now laughing with him. Both of them realizing that it was supposed to be something hilarious, and not something to be completely worried about.

“Ugh. I’m sorry if I kind of got in my own head about it. You know how I am.” Buck says as he takes Eddies hands in his own, giving him a light apologetic squeeze.

“No, cariño. Never apologize for the way you feel.” Eddie leans in to give Buck a kiss in the cheek.

“And for the record, I love you too, Evan.” Eddie doesn’t miss the way the last dredges of tension leave Buck’s shoulders. “I think I’ve loved you since the earthquake, when you drove me to Christopher.”

Buck giggles. He honest to god giggles. And Eddie kind of hates his boyfriend for being too fucking adorable. He stands back up and goes to his seat.

“Now dig in, the food’s getting cold. And this may be one of the only few times I’d be willing to cook for you.”

\---

Eddie and Buck find themselves an entangled mess of limbs under the soft linen sheets of Eddie’s king sized bed. Buck had his head pillowed against Eddie’s chest, both of them heavily catching their breaths.

“That was amazing.” Buck says, a little too blissed out.

“I love you.” Eddie says into the top of Buck’s head, his voice a little muffled by the other man’s unruly curls.

Buck looks up at him then, sporting a rather mischievous smile. Eddie thinks he knows where this is going. Buck pulls himself up on his elbows, enough that he can fully face Eddie and look into his eyes as he does the finger guns back.

Eddie rolls his eyes as Buck lets out a full-bellied laugh. He’s lucky Eddie loves him.

\---

And if from then on, Eddie and Buck throw each other finger guns as a way to tell each other they love them when they can’t say it out loud, then that’s just between the both of them. Well, Christopher too, because no way in hell is that kid gonna be left out of a family inside joke.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr, I'm desperate for attention lmao
> 
> [bigbodaciousbuddie](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/bigbodaciousbuddie)


End file.
